


Sign Here

by UnfortunatelyObsessed



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Delivery boy Dean, Fifty-five gallon drum of lube, M/M, Sex Shop, Shop owner Gabriel, debriel, really just a gay sitcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-30 06:24:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21423652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnfortunatelyObsessed/pseuds/UnfortunatelyObsessed
Summary: Gabriel is finally running his own sex shop, and he thinks it's hilarious if he can make the delivery man blush.
Relationships: Gabriel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 23
Kudos: 146
Collections: Demon Void Army - Family Album





	Sign Here

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Petrichora_Vellichor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Petrichora_Vellichor/gifts).

> This is for the lovely Petra! Thank you so much for prompting this! It was so fun to write :D  
Everyone go show Petra some love ❤️

Gabriel stared around his shop, smiling softly to himself. He had worked hard to get here: late nights, double shifts, cheap apartments, and shitty food.

But here he was, after all this time. Gabriel Shurley, shop owner.

He brushed some dust off the store's counter.

No.

_ His _ counter.

There was a loud noise from down an aisle, and he yelled, "Hey!  _ Hey! _ That sex swing  _ clearly _ says 'do not use'!"

And, just like that, Gabriel's Goodies was open for the day.

\---

The store was booming. For some reason, Sunday was always his most popular day. Gabe figured it had to do with all the sexy statues littering the local churches. Left the parishioners wet with a bit more than holy water, if you caught his drift.

Another customer bought a whip, and Gabriel tied a fancy black bow around it.

“Thank ya, Jesus,” Gabriel announced as his warehouse worker walked into the store, clipboard at the ready.

The man flipped through his papers, glancing up at the end. He groaned and shut his eyes, free hand pressed against his temples. “Fuck.  _ You’re _ working today?”

Gabriel leaned against the counter, leering. “I’ve decided to work  _ every _ Sunday, Deano.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh,  _ yes. _ It’s so good to see you!”

Dean kicked it into high gear, fumbling his pen out, hoping to beat Gabe to the punch.

“IF IT ISN’T DEAN!” Gabriel yelled for everyone to hear. “THAT LATEX SUIT YOU ORDERED IS IN!”

Dean  _ shoved _ the papers at Gabriel, wincing. “Mr. Shurley! I didn’t—”

“I AM STILL SKEPTICAL THAT ONE SIZE FITS ALL!”

Dean’s cheeks were beyond red, creeping up his face and down his neck. “I make fun of cake  _ one time _ and this is what I get?! Sign the damn papers!”

“WILL YOUR DOM REALLY ENJOY YOU IN IT?!”

Dean yanked the papers away as soon as Gabriel signed them, standing up straight and looking more embarrassed than a boner at a nursing home. “Thankyouforyourbusiness,” Dean rushed out before  _ running _ out of the store.

Gabriel watched in interest as Dean brought a few boxes in, muscles rippling and uniform stretching pleasantly across his chest.

Latex suit, his ass.

Dean deserved something better.

When he left, Gabriel took to ordering some more dick-oriented lingerie.

\---

Gabriel was enjoying his newly-installed jukebox when the next order rolled around.

Dean almost walked right back out of the store when he saw Gabe. “Saturdays too?!”

“Can’t miss seeing you, Deanie baby,” Gabriel responded, winking.

Dean put a hand over his own face, eyes squeezed shut. “Go ahead. Get it over with.”

“YOOOO, IF IT ISN’T MR. NIPPLE CLAMPS HIMSELF! COME TO BROWSE MY SELECTION?!”

Dean forged Gabriel’s signature and left to get the boxes.

\---

Dean narrowed his eyes as he saw Gabriel, tucking the clipboard under his arm. “Do you only show up on delivery days now or something?”

“What can I say, Deano? I like watching you lift those boxes.”

“You would,” Dean murmured under his breath. His eyes landed on a new object. “Hey wait, is that a jukebox?”

Gabe turned around in surprise, eyebrows raised. “Uh, yeah. It is. Why? Wanna play me a love song?”

Dean watched him carefully, like a gazelle approaching a shark armed with friggin’ laser beams. “I’m just gonna look at it.”

Gabe waved his arm widely. “Go ahead! BUT! I get to yell about you again.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed, lips pursed. “You got any Zeppelin in there?”

“Sure do!”

He leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling as if asking it  _ how did I get myself into this situation? _ “Make it a tame kink this time?”

“A tame kink, huh? Sure. I can do that.”

Dean nodded, setting his clipboard on the counter and inspecting the jukebox. “Man, this thing is  _ vintage. _ How much did it set you back?”

“A few hundred. Worth it, though.” Gabriel plucked a cherry dick lollipop out of his impulse buy box. “You into classhic rock?”

Dean was bent over, inspecting the player, and  _ damn, _ that just wasn’t fair. “I was raised on it. It was all my brother and I listened to.”

“You have a brother?”

“Yep,” Dean said, letting the p pop. He pulled out a dime from his back pocket and picked a song.

“I’ve got a few, too.”

“Gosh, almost like we’re real people or something,” Dean deadpanned, leaning back.

“Ridiculoush,” Gabriel returned, sucker stick protruding from his mouth. “We’re merely figmentsh of your imagination.”

“Huh.” Dean raised an eyebrow at Gabriel. “Not bad, then.”

He panicked.

Honest to God, Gabriel panicked.

“HEY, THAT COLLAR YOU ORDERED IS IN!” he yelled, voice sounding strained, dick pop falling out. “HOPE YOU LIKE BEING TAMED.”

Dean sighed, shaking his head. “I absolutely loathe you, Mr. Shurley,” he grumbled, shoving a pen into Gabriel’s hand.

“Gay-Gabriel,” Gabe found himself stammering out.

Dean smirked. “Mr. Shurley,” he said. “I already knew you were gay.”

\---

Gabriel drummed his fingers on the counter, scowling. Dean was getting under his skin for  _ no damn good reason. _ It was just that uniform. Buttons threatening to pop across his chest, shorts revealing muscular thighs, that beautiful blush spreading like wildfire…

A throat clearing jerked his attention up.

“Are you kidding me?” Dean asked, no emotion in his voice.

“Um?”

Dean flipped his sheets aggressively. “One  _ fifty-five gallon  _ drum of lube. Did someone order this? Are you splitting it up and making profit? What the fuck, man.”

“Pan.”

“What?”

“You said I was gay, earlier. I’m pan. Or omni. Take your pick.”

Dean shoved the papers in his face.  _ “Fifty-five gallons!” _

“I ordered sixty.”

_ “Why?!” _

Gabriel met his eyes, and Dean facepalmed.

“Oh. Oh, God no…” Dean groaned.

“THAT FIFTY-FIVE GALLON DRUM OF LUBE YOU ORDERED IS HERE!”

Dean pressed his head against the counter, fake-sobbing. “I’m done with this business. I’m sending another delivery boy.”

Gabe winked at him. “Why not send a delivery  _ man?” _

Dean looked at Gabriel like every emotion he felt was currently on hold. “All the other ones are straight,” he deadpanned, handing over his pen.

\---

The sheer number of people in the store was overwhelming. Gabriel pulled up the computer browser and clicked through to see what holiday it was.

“Ohhhhh,” he said under his breath. “Valentine’s Day.”

He quickly typed up a social media post, something about 69% off on this most sexual of days.

The door opened, and Gabe looked up to see his favorite delivery man.

He grinned wide at Dean, waving boldly. “HEYA DEAN BEAN! GOT THAT STRIPPER POLE FOR YOU TO TRY!”

Dean sighed, crossed his arms, and met Gabriel’s eyes, challenging him.

Gabe fell back a step.

“Bring it out, then,  _ Gabriel,” _ Dean threatened.

“It’s uh— It’s not for the faint of heart!”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “It’s not my first time.”

“Let me buy you dinner first!” Gabriel blurted.

“Burger joint. High end. Seven o’clock. I’ll meet you back here.”

“The… The shop closes at eight…”

Dean winked. “Better change your hours then.” He held out his clipboard. “Sign here.”

Gabe grabbed the papers with shaking hands. “This… This isn’t a delivery form.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

On the board, in neat handwriting, were the words  _ Will you be my valentine? Sign here for yes. _

“This is the most goddamn cute thing I’ve ever seen,” Gabriel told Dean.

“Yeah well, company wouldn’t let me print out ‘Fuck me, please’.”

Gabriel ended his name with a flourish.


End file.
